I have skin cancer. That's right, cancer with a 'c' as in "holy Crap, I have Cancer."
Fuck.
Seriously though, I have basal cell skin cancer on my chest right below my clavical. When the nurse called to tell me, this is seriously truly really really how the conversation went:
Nurse Savvy: well, your biopsies came back and all of them are clear. You don't have any that are cancerous.
Me (the patient): Whew! Oh, thank goodness!
Nurse (not so) Savvy: Oh wait a second, no, that's not right. 3 of them came back fine, but one of them, um, yes, one of them is cancer. The one on your chest, yes, that one is cancer.
Me (the patient who is trying to figure out what the hell just happened): O....K....
Nurse (still not quite) Savvy: But it is only basal cell, so look at it this way, (as her voice goes up a cheery octive) if you are gonna get cancer this is the one to get! (at this point I imagine her giving me the thumbs up and a wink)
Me: excuse me while I celebrate.
Is it wrong to laugh at that conversation? If only because you've already called me and we've gone through the "oh sh*t" part together?
ReplyDeleteAnd may I say, if only as a nurse, get your crap together before you make the call. I mean seriously...we got your test results and your birth control was 100% on target. Oh, no, wait...one got through. *roll eyes*
I really am laughing at it now; and I think she truly felt bad about it. I have my appointment on Wednesday for a consult and then I'll know when my surgery is.
ReplyDeleteYou are definitely in my prayers. And it did sound definitely dramatic!;) And now I will stop using the word definitely for awhile....definitely.:)
ReplyDeleteMy doctor told me the exact same thing. You don't know whether to be relieved or kick some serious ass. Ultimately, though, he was right and here I am.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I know it's been a long time, Slade. Hope the familia is doing well.
Hang in there!